Anatomically Altered Chicken

In another climate I would be far more inclined to roast things at this time of year, but alas the apartment is nigh unbearable with the oven at full blast. Given the ease of preparation, roasting a chicken is probably faster than dealing with any given hunk by itself. Very large birds are fairly inconvenient to roast given longer times — it seems one must resign one's vegetables to overdoneness if the chicken is to be fully sanitized.

Butterflying is the best way to ensure even cooking and a reasonable roasting time. As an added benefit, carving up the roasted product becomes an extremely simple task. Putting flavoring and butter under the skin is a good way to add some kick without having to marinate beforehand.

The typical bed of vegetables consists of celery, carrots, and onions. Celery bores me to death so I've opted to go for fennel instead, given that it tastes like something other than cardboard. Adding soy gives a little bit of a different flavor, the amount of salt used should be adjusted given its omission.

Mustard Roasted Chicken

For the Chicken

• 1 4-lb. Chicken
• 2-3 Tbs Unsalted Butter, Room Temperature
• Heaping Tbs. Grainy Mustard
• 1 Glug Soy Sauce (optional)
• 1/2 Tsp. Salt
• Few Grinds Pepper

For the Pan

• 1 Large Bulb Fennel, Leaf-Matter Removed
• 1 Large Red Onion
• 2 Medium Carrots
• Few Springs Fresh Time, or a couple shakes dried

1. Preheat oven to 425F
2. Remove tops of fennel and most of the root from onions, and cut into wedges. Slice carrots to 1/3" pieces. Combine in pile at the bottom of the roasting pan and add the springs of thyme.
3. Combine butter, mustard, and soy sauce with salt and pepper.
4. Butterfly the chicken, removing the keel bone. Pat dry with paper towels and season either side lightly with salt and pepper. Open up skin with fingers and spoon the mustard mixture around the breasts, thighs, and legs. Place the bird breast up on the pile.
5. Roast for 45 minutes, maybe, or until juices run clear and internal temperature reaches 165F. A thermometer is a real boon here, though premature butchering is sometimes necessary for a sound state of mind.

NB: Soy substantially alters the texture of the butter mixture, making it flow more freely once the skin is punctured. Cutting to check for done-ness will probably result in a draining of flavor.

Let rest for a few minutes under foil, then carve into quarters — an easy task with no keel bone! Thanks to the guy at the market with a cooler full of dead chickens...